They are not vulnerable to blackmail or at risk of losing their jobs or homes. Not only do her parents and their partners have stable, examined relationships and healthy ways of resolving conflict, but they are educated and financially secure. Soon Allie finds herself the object of a vicious campaign of gossip, one that could have dangerous consequences.Īs the author herself points out in the afterword, Allie’s family is privileged in many ways.

To make matters worse, Allie inadvertently makes an enemy of a classmate, one who seeks payback through the rumor mill.

Allie’s life takes a turn for the complicated when her girlfriend moves across the country and she briefly explores a relationship with the boy her girlfriend has been dating. When she begins to date both another girl and a boy, she always has someone who understands and can help her articulate the issues of consent, boundaries, privacy, and communication. Alicía Diaz considers it normal for both her parents to have other partners, and her life has been enriched by their loving support. I was delighted to discover Gabrielle Harbowy’s novel, which centers on a teenager who has grown up in a polyamorous family in which relationships are negotiated with kindness, skill, and clarity. Human behavior and sexuality is so varied, why should we presume ours is the only right way? Or that one way is right for everyone? Many cultures have some form of polyamory, whether it’s marriage to more than one other person or socially acceptable lovers in addition to spouses. The truth is that all of us love more than one other person, although we typically place the different relationships in different categories: we love parents, children, siblings, kinfolk, friends, comrades.and romantic partners.at the same time. Dating more than one person is considered de facto “cheating.” Added to this pressure is the expectation that teens, who are at the beginning of their romantic lives, must find and stick with the “right” person without exploring other relationships. Characters all too often flirt with someone they’re not interested in, in order to arouse the possessive rage of their spouses. My response, then and now, was “I don’t see why this is not a good thing.” It has always struck me that each loving relationship is unique, and the problems so often depicted in a negative way in films, television, and novels arise from poor communication and the expectation of jealousy. Hearts Are Jerks, by Gabrielle Harbowy (Heart Bow Books)īack when gay marriage was being hotly debated in my state, opponents railed that the next thing, people would be able to marry more than one other person.

Hearts Are Jerks by Gabrielle Harbowy